When I was home this summer I found myself in the middle of several awkward conversations about expat life.
We were like gangly teenagers, blundering through an attempt at a first kiss. There was contact, but no connection.
This is how many conversations turn out when we fall back on old scripts. We miss an opportunity to experience something much better.
In this month´s contribution for intercultures, I want to help you avoid this same mistake by doing two things:
- Offer you specific strategies to break out of the tired scripts we use when we talk about experiences abroad.
- Support you to further develop your global skills by deepening cultural understanding and building stronger business (and personal) relationships.
You will find that these strategies are useful for a wide range of professionals (such as Global Mobility specialists, leaders of international teams, or expats themselves) but don´t forget that they can also benefit families or friends who have loved ones abroad.
Join me, read the article Never Say This to an Expat and explore what can go wrong when we ask, “So, what is it like?”
P.S. When you´ve finished, join me in the comments section below to share other creative approaches, ask questions, or make a comment.
p.p.s. This post is also linked to the #MyGlobalLife link-up over at Small Planet Studios.
after about 40 odd years as an expatriate I understand that the burden of breaking the ice between expatriate and stay-at-home lies very much with the expatriate. It is not really surprising that retired expats congregate in clubs and have annual reunions where they reminisce about their time abroad. They go by the sobriquet of “Whenwe” as in “when we lived in Nigeria”, “when we were posted to Turkmenistan” etc. The stay-at-home have priorities,interests and preoccupations far different from expats coping say with everyday life in Equatorial Guinea and while the expat still has a fair idea of what those preoccupations at home may be, the non-expat only knows what he/she has seen on the news or discovery channel.
As expatriate avoid coming across as “I know better, I lead a far more exciting life than you, etc” Try this ” living abroad I have come to the realization how important it is that the majority of people are quite happy to stay where they are and keep things going in the accustomed manner. It is so nice to come home and find things working as well if not better than when I left. And that includes the Wurst-Kaese Salat in front of me !” and off you are into a conversation about food, shopping and cooking ……
Mario – this is such a beautiful alternative you have offered here. It completely validates both experiences. What I also love about your comments is a very clear awareness of how you could be perceived, or how others could interpret you. Here you manage to work with these potential interpretations in such a constructive way. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience!
Sundae-I really enjoyed reading this article. Since my fitness business is based mostly online, a lot of my clients are expats. Of course, most of the time we talk about their current routines, but one of the things I love about working with a diverse group is learning about the different cultures that my clients are experiencing. I will definitely use some of these conversation starters this week 🙂
Hi Catherine – way to go for breaking out of our “normal” scripts. Building a relationship with your clients IS an important aspect of your online work, so I hope this step helps you do that! Thanks for taking time to share your feedback!
Great timing that I’m reading this now…I’m writing a guest blog post right now about how people can help their friends/family in re-entry and one of my tips is in line with your article – to ask more specific questions than just “So, how was it?” Being asked specific questions can make you feel heard in a way that “How was it?” doesn’t. Thanks for participating in the #MyGlobalLife Link-Up!
Hi Cate – I am so happy this served as some inspiration for you! Yes, re-entry is a time where people can use major support. I do think that the one doing the re-entry also has to be proactive in sharing some of the “sparkle and mud” so to speak from their time abroad. Sometimes hard to articulate all that one experienced!