My 3 Steps to Ensure Your Greater Happiness
You might be fairly new to life as an expat spouse, or you have several assignments abroad behind you. You have a fairly good understanding of the challenges inherent in expat life and as a trailing spouse (crazy moving logistics, the initial stress of setting up in a new location, the ups and downs of meeting new people, saying good bye to loved ones). You are now well versed in all the fancy and formidable labels for the new role you have assumed: accompanying partner, expat partner, expat wife (what if you are a man?), trailing spouse, and even STARS (Spouses Travelling and Relocating Successfully). Some seem to rest well with you, others may feel like a slap in the face. Nevertheless, you are on an adventure and have clarity on why you have said “yes” to this life.
All you have done so far to understand what to expect and manage your challenges has been well-invested time. This information helps you settle in successfully. However, it will not make you happy.
While I am interested in the challenges of trailing spouses, I am far more passionate about their transformation into a Trailblazing Spouse®. Based on my definition, you are on your way to Trailblazing when you aim to live in better alignment with your future goals, passions and talents – while still meeting the needs of your partner or family. Trailblazing Spouses are happy – and when they are not, they can recognize it and have solid strategies to make things better. They are committed to making the best of their life abroad.
In this guest-post featured in Expatwoman.com, I am going to share with you three tried-and-true steps you can take to catapult your happiness and start your transformation into a Trailblazing Spouse®.
Three steps to greater happiness and fulfilment
1. Choose Hero Over Victim
In the story of your life abroad, do you see yourself as the victim of circumstances, or rather as the heroine (or hero) on a noble quest?
Which one feels better? Which one gives you more power? More options? Choose that one.
As an expat spouse, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are active agents in our own lives. We agree to circumstances. We allow ourselves to be treated in specific ways. We are co-creators of the direction of our life. When we ignore these facts, we can easily slide into victim mode and unhappiness. When we keep this powerful reality at the forefront of our mind, we get up in the morning with clarity on our highest priorities that day.
When you are the heroine of your own story, you experience adversity but are active in finding solutions. You engage with others to find solutions to tough challenges. You fall down. You get back up.
Heroes have a sense of purpose and this drives their direction.
Try This: Get up tomorrow morning and act “as if” you are the hero or heroine of your story. Approach the entire day with this power and agency in mind. Notice how it makes you feel. Notice how you respond differently.
If you would like to make change in your life, move on over to this special feature and find out what the next two steps are to Trailblazing, greater happiness and more fulfilment.
When you are finished, let me know in the comments section which step you think will make the biggest impact in your life right now.
I look forward to hearing from you!