What if I told you that some of the best things in your life haven’t even happened yet? Unpredictable, unplanned, heck, even unimaginable from your current perspective, these shifts will catapult you into the phase of transformation I’ve titled: Infinite Possibilities.
And if this sounds exciting that’s because it is, however, this stage isn’t all rainbows and lollipops. I refer to it as “the freeze phase” for a reason. And that’s because people in the Infinite Possibilities stage frequently (and painfully!) bounce between “I can do anything” to “I suck, and this is never going to happen.”
For the second part of our Bean Pod dedicated to the four phases of transformation, we’ll deep-dive into Infinite Possibilities. (Did you *recently* take the fun, FREE quiz to discover which phase of transformation you’re in? If not, consider doing it again because where you land is a rolling truth.)
So this week, I’ll share some distinguishing characteristics to help you recognize that you’re currently inside the Infinite Possibilities transformation phase. Then, I’ll reveal a few stop signs and green lights to watch out for, and what to do when (not if) you encounter them.
What You’ll Learn in this Episode:
- Having to settle for Mr. Peanut
- Teetering on the cusp of something great
- Capturing “that” feeling before poison sets in
- Answering someone else’s questions
- Staying small & playing it safe
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
It is 3 a.m. in New York 9 a.m. in Johannesburg and 3 p.m. in Bangkok. Welcome to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I’m an intercultural strategist transformation facilitator and solution-oriented coach. And I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed through ANY life transition.
I often tell people that I’m glad I can’t plan out my life in detail because some of the best things that’ve ever happened to me were completely unplanned and really unpredictable. My life has transformed and continues to transform in ways that are well beyond anything that I could imagine. So you might say that the universe is just a little bit more creative than me.
So today, we are talking about exactly that, the things that we haven’t yet imagined or never think are possible can end up happening to you. And my life is a testament to that. And we are in the second pod of a four-part series where we’re stepping back and we’re looking into transformation and how it is showing up in your life and business. So if you follow my work you know that I see transition differently than most people, I truly believe that our lives are always in transition. Life is in constant transition and that transformation often falls into one of three categories:
- Internal-led. Something coming from inside you out.
- External-led. Something has happened and it’s happening to you and it’s kicking off a transformation
- Performance-led. You have a big goal that you want to achieve.
Some of you are lucky enough to have all three going on at the same time.
So the thing is we want to look at where we’re putting our focus. It depends on what area of our life is capturing our attention, which area of our life is transforming in a way that is glorious, or it might feel out of control or scary. So I want you, in this episode to think about, what area of your life is most pressing for you? And I want to see if you know, which phase of transformation in that area of your life is in?
This is part of the entire series. Last week, we did The Crumble and this week we’re going to dive into the next phase, and if you don’t know or you want to get a kick start in understanding, which area of your life is most pressing to you and which phase of transformation you’re in, check out my short quiz, it’s playful and fast, it’s in the show notes. And then it will help you understand where you are. And if you took this, let’s say some months ago, or a year ago, take it again because you might not be in the same place you were before.
All right, so let’s get started. I want to have some fun today. Again check out episode 301: The Crumble because that is the first phase we talk about. And transformation, we talk about it in many ways, there are many thought leaders who look at transformation, and what I’m doing is I’m sharing with you the ways I’ve seen people go through transformation in my work. I’ve been with people for well over a decade and this is a beautiful up close lens at what I see people go through.
Okay, so let’s dive into the second phase and this episode and it is called Infinite Possibilities. Now in Switzerland, peanut butter is considered an American thing and when you go to the grocery store, they might not have it. And there is a store that I know does have it and you walk in and there are there only two choices, it’s creamy or chunky. And I think the name of the peanut butter is Mr. Peanut. So, that’s it. You go in choice one, choice two. And sometimes I sit in front of it and I’m like, “Creamy? Do I like it? My kids like chunky. What I’m in the mood for?” So I stand there for a second and I make my choice. I Googled peanut butter in Switzerland and there were two million results that came up, which I thought, “Okay. One option of a product we can have in the store. And we’ll make a decision.”
But in the U.S., if you Google it, there aren’t two million results that come up. There are 20 million. In fact, peanut butter is such a thing in the U.S. that there are over 3,000 people who are employed in the peanut butter production industry in 2023. So the U.S. takes her peanut butter very seriously. In fact, there’s a whole aisle of peanut butter And because I don’t live in the U.S., when I go back to the U.S, I go into the peanut butter aisle and there’s this initial like moment of delight where I’m like, “Oh look at all these options,” right? And then, do you know what happens? I freeze. I go into complete overwhelm. And that is what Infinite Possibilities feels like.
So if you resonate with this story with some other area of your life, you’re probably in Infinite Possibilities, right? You have this moment, let’s say it’s in your business, you just got your coaching certification and you’re working on your website and you’re like, “Anything is possible. I could work with my dream clients. I could make a lot of money. I could pay for business class when I fly like,” whatever. You’re excited, you’re totally open and you’re ready to create a flexible schedule and work around your hours. And it’s delightful and then overwhelm and self-doubt creep up. You ask yourself, “Is it possible? How will I do that? What will it take? Do I have what it takes?”
And this phase, while you’re probably happy you’ve moved on from the crumble, where you were feeling, maybe loss or confusion, you are plummeted by questions, including a really important one that emerges and that is, “What next?” And when we have infinite possibilities the answer to what’s next could be anything and we don’t have a guarantee, right? And that’s why Infinite Possibilities is both delightful and can be difficult. No wonder people freeze in this phase.
So if you have a moment, that’s where you think, “Hey, anything’s possible.” And then the next moment you’re like, “I suck. This is never going to happen.” Then you’re probably in Infinite Possibilities. I get it. So this is especially for people who are starting a new business, maybe have shifted their profession. Maybe you’ve moved to another country or you just started at a new organization or maybe you have just started a family. There’s this moment of your life in transition where we are at the cusp of something but you haven’t yet established results or a routine that match. One of a thousand dreams that are in your head, right?
And that’s normal. Remember your life is IN TRANSIT and this is a natural phase of transformation and I’ve got your back. So as we did in episode 301, I’m going to share with you some signs on things that are Stop Signs, what you should stop in its tracks. And what you could do more of what are the Green Lights. Again, this is really complex. We’re going to go into this in more detail in the quiz. If you take it as well, there are some podcasts I’ve recommended. And what I haven’t mentioned yet is we are doing a free challenge all of February 2023, deep diving into these phases of transformation and to help you understand your complex life. Whether it’s your professional life, your personal life, your community life, etc, etc.
Which area of transformation are you in for that area that is meaningful to you? And then, what do you do to nurture that phase so you make the most of it? What are you doing that’s sabotaging you? And what can you do to move forward?
So, if you haven’t signed up for that free challenge yet, do so because all kinds of goodness is going to happen. If for some reason you’re listening to this episode later and the challenge has past, make sure you’re part of my IN TRANSIT Hub community because we have all the materials inside there.
Okay. So, back to stop signs and green lights. Stop signs. If you were in Infinite Possibilities and you’re doing this, we need to pause and find out ways to work around it:
- Stop sign one is if you are avoiding the hard questions. So if you’re in Infinite Possibilities and you are avoiding the hard questions, you need to knock it off. So these are the hard questions; What do I actually value? What do I really want? What are my ambitious goals?
Now, why would you avoid questions like this? These are important questions. Why? Because you’re afraid? What if you don’t like the answer, right? What if you value something that is absent in your life? What if you want something that feels really unattainable? What if you name your ambitious goal and you feel the self-doubt on whether you can actually achieve it? That is why people don’t even ask the question because then what they have to do is grapple with the answer. And I get that but the answers are exactly what you need to do to move forward in this phase and it brings up a whole host of other things. We’ll talk about that more as we go, but you need to face the answers. So a stop sign is to stop avoiding these luscious questions.
These are juicy questions that will bring you so much in your life. Name them right.
- People do this as well because they want to play it safe. And another thing we need to stop doing is playing it safe. And this is how it happens with my clients. They are in Infinite Possibilities and then one of them, let’s say it’s about their business and then a friend says, “Hey, we should do this thing together. You can join me with my idea and we’ll do it together.” And it’s tempting because they already have the vision. You have so many possibilities, you don’t know what to do. Well, they know what to do. So you go and join them but now you’re joining them on their dream and their answers to what they value and what they really want.
So don’t play it safe by acting on the first opportunity that comes your way or the first idea that comes your way because usually, those ideas are just the safe ones where you play small.
So, watch out for those if those are happening in your life. If you’ve got it, no problem, right? It’s tempting, I get that, with this is the thing sitting in the discomfort is uncomfortable. So allow yourself to resist that because it’s worth sitting in that discomfort. And so if you are someone who actually works with individuals like expats or those who are in transition, you might catch people doing this. Your clients with thoughts like, “I’m just being foolish.” Or, “I don’t have what it takes to do this.” Or, “That will be too hard.” That is precisely why they need someone like you to catch them in their tracks on these limiting small thoughts.
So you ask yourself if you are in Infinite Possibilities or you’re supporting people who are, what are some green lights or things that you can do here? Now, I’m going to chime in here with, I think it’s kind of an embarrassing analogy. Maybe a little bit too much information about like my former life, but work with me here. Okay, so green light.
This is many, many, many, many moons ago, you’re in college, you’re on the dance floor, you are feeling amazing. Maybe it is from the Vodka/Red Bull but the music is right. You’re dancing, you feel amazing you’re flirting with people and you need to go the bathroom. So you leave the dance floor and you walk into the bathroom and you see yourself in the mirror and you are an absolute mess like mascara running, hair ratty, sweaty. And how you felt on the dance floor is not represented in the mirror and it’s like this cold reality check, right? And now stay with me, I said it here because this is the thing. What happens in Infinite Possibilities, we have moments where we feel on fire like we do on the dance floor.
But instead of alcohol and dripping mascara, it is the negative cultural programming or unhealthy family patterns that are making you see yourself like crap. Let me say that again. One is just a chemical reaction in your body and sweat and mascara limits of reality. The other, when it happens in our infinite possibilities is we go from on fire and feeling alive to self-doubt. And those factors that are weighing us down are completely outside the bus because we’ve just gobbled up dogma from our culture about what’s possible. What’s not for your gender or your identity or your social class, or whatever, right? Or those messages we got as in family hood, maybe of a toxic relationship, or maybe your parent was a narcissist or maybe your family was really dismissive. Those things make you feel like crap.
All right, so what do we need to do because we can’t help it that those things pour in that. That takes years of work. And probably a really good therapist to undo all of that programming. So, what do we do in the meantime? We need to capture those moments like when you’re on the dance floor, if someone were to take a picture and see the joy in your face and capture the lights and the music. Capture that feeling. And so in your own life, when you have those moments of inspiration before the bullshit pulls in that drains you down:
- Write them down.
- Tell a friend.
- Write down the wildest ideas. The moments where you give yourself permission to believe in yourself.
And don’t yet analyze them or overanalyze them, just get them down. So you can notice which one makes you feel most alive, right? Because when that negative messaging pours in, you’ll need to go back to that. And I have other podcasts on this about how to up level when this happens to me. When I know I have my own lies, I tell myself, I discovered them in 2008, two of them are, “It’s going to take a long time and this is going to be difficult.” And I realize those are the thoughts I let pour in when I’m in that moment of infinite possibility.
And I work through them and I don’t let it stop me. I capture those moments. of inspiration and remind myself of what’s possible. And then when I work toward– and we’ll talk about that next in next episode, when I work toward the thing that I’m dreaming of, those thoughts, then go to the wayside. But guess what happens when we go to the next level? We want the next best thing that’s in our lives, and our hearts. But I’ll come back again.
So capture those thoughts when they’re there. And if you want to learn more about up leveling, go ahead and check out the podcast in the show notes.
Okay, so there we go. Infinite possibilities. If you’re there capture, tell a friend, this is another great strategy. Tell a friend in that moment of belief because they’re going to be there when you’re low and they’ll say, “Hey, wait a minute, remember that idea you had,” they believe in you, they know it’s possible and they can help keep you accountable. The key to this phase is to hold that discomfort. Hold the tension between believing in what is possible and acknowledging the limiting ways we think about things hold real constraints in society and in our world. And the possibility that you might find a way to overcome that. And giving yourself permission to hold that discomfort will keep you in this phase in the best possible way. To keep you in there and doing the work and not skip ahead to a phase that would just help you rebound backwards.
So another green light here is when you seek out support. You don’t do this alone. Again, bringing a friend, tell them those dreams, tell them ideas on what you think is possible. Or, of course, work with a qualified coach or counselor to help you move forward on the journey, right?
So stay tuned for the next episode. I’ll talk about the next area of transformation, which is the Fight Mode. But for now I want you to think about what areas of your life are in infinite possibility? Is it your professional path? Is it how you want to engage with your family? Is that what you want to create in the community? Is it around some health goals that you have? Is it something around your relationship with something bigger than you? Something spiritual or religious? That is so fun to think about what’s possible, right?
Okay, so this is Infinite Possibilities. I love this phase. I love working with people in this phase. This is a phase that is so wonderful to hold someone’s hand and say, “Hey this is possible. Let’s just take step by step. And let’s look at really what is what helps light your fire.” If you again if you want to go deeper and you want to know more about this, don’t miss the challenge them offering inside the IN TRANSIT community in February because we’re going to go in deep dive and talk about how we can actually do the good work in this phase so that you get that growth and learning. And then we’ll move not necessarily faster in like pushed/forced, sort of way, but in terms of not staying stuck where you are.
Okay, so there you go. And as I mentioned in the last few weeks, we have an upgraded program of Adapt and Succeed, which is perfect for you if you are living your life IN TRANSIT and you want more support, check it out. I’ve got Global Coach Coalition by my side. I deliver the content, the material, they help you get the one-to-one support. So, check it out If you are looking for someone, we’ve got coaches psychologist, other practitioners who totally are defined by lives IN TRANSIT, geographically and personally, so let me know if you want to be paired with a member of the Global Coach Coalition and check out Adapt and Succeed.
I’m totally here for you. And if you are someone who wants to work with those IN TRANSIT, if you work with a globally mobile community, or you are on fire about supporting people, when their life is in transition, don’t miss out on Global Coach Coalition. We open the doors and it is full of one part best practices on helping people adapt and succeed in transition. Even when it gets really tough, it is also one part business booster and 100% world-class community. So check it out. It’s all about up leveling. So if you’re in Infinite Possibilities in your business, and you’re wondering exactly who would I want to work with? How would I add value? How can I reach the next level of my business, this is really perfect timing for you. And it is, I’m quite certain, the only time I’m going to offer it in 2023, so if you’re thinking about it now is the time. This is the fourth year that I’ve offered it and every step of the way we’ve improved it. And this year includes the upgrades with the Adapt and Succeed program. So, I’m really excited to see who’s interested. If you want to talk and learn more about Global Coach Coalition, apply. It’s in the show notes and we can have a conversation.
I can’t wait to see who is in Infinite Possibilities. Let me know in an email reply to my newsletter. Check it out on social media and tell me if you were in Infinite Possibilities and don’t forget to join us. Imagine what’s possible if you and I work together for four or five months and you’ve got these other amazing professionals by your side but proven strategies at your fingertips, to help those in transition to help people whose lives or businesses are IN TRANSIT. I think it could be amazing.
You’ve been listening to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Schneider-Bean. Thank you for listening. I’ll leave you with the wise words of Eckhart Tolle: “When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.”
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