Don’t hate me. Or at least let me finish my train of thought before you do, okay? If you’re familiar with my work, you’ve heard me reference the caterpillar-to-butterfly analogy to illustrate the transformation journey.
But what if, after the former caterpillar emerges from the chrysalis, it starts flying but instead of living its best butterfly life, it looks back with regret? “There’s so much wind up here! I had it so sweet down there, tucked away in my tree trunk, with predictable access to my all-you-can-eat leaf buffet.”
So what can we learn from the sad butterfly? (And no, staying small and safe isn’t it.)
1) It’s normal to miss aspects of your pre-transformation routine and acknowledge the benefits you traded for post-transformation you. 2) Just because you arrive at your Triumph IN TRANSIT phase, doesn’t mean that life gets easier.
For the conclusion of our Bean Pod dedicated to the four phases of transformation, I’ve saved the best for last. So pop the champagne because this week, we’re celebrating Triumph IN TRANSIT.
As the title suggests, Triumph IN TRANSIT is where you arrive after you’ve traversed through all the tough stuff in your transformation. It’s that sweet spot where you can (finally!) enjoy the fruits of your labor. However, as beautiful as this often underacknowledged phase is, it’s not without pitfalls.
So today, I’ll show you how to properly recognize and celebrate Triumph IN TRANSIT. Then, I’ll help you spy with your little eye hidden dangers to stay in this phase as long as possible and be better prepared for when the bubble bursts.
What You’ll Learn in this Episode:
- How to stop upper limiting
- Paying the wisdom forward
- You’ve done it before, you’ll do it again
- Feeling called to do something else
- Repeating what worked
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Hello, it is 4 a.m. in New York, 10 a.m. in Johannesburg, and 4 p.m. in Bangkok. Welcome to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I’m an intercultural strategist, transformation facilitator, and solution-oriented coach. And I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed through ANY life transition.
Today, we are talking about Triumph IN TRANSIT and to tell you the truth, we are often in this phase and completely miss it. It means that all the potential satisfaction and pleasure that we gain from being there is missed because we are not doing the right things to notice. I’m going to talk about the fourth phase of transformation today. It is part of our four part series on transformation. You might recall episode 301: The Crumble, 302: Infinite Possibilities, and 303: Fight Mode. What happens after you’ve gone through this whole journey and you fought to get where you are and you land in Triumph IN TRANSIT?
The problem about not being mindful of this phase is that you have this opportunity to truly enjoy the fruits of your labor and might miss it in an instant because why, because our lives are constantly IN TRANSIT. And if we are in old modes, like our Fight Mode but in a new phase, we actually miss the best part of the phase were actually in. I’ll go into more detail in a little bit, but if you’re asking yourself, “Sundae, I don’t even know what phase of transformation I’m in. I haven’t listened to these podcasts yet.” Then all you got to do is spend two minutes and check out the quiz. We have in the show notes, it will tell you in a playful way where you are right now and then what you can do.
I talk about Green Lights, things to do more of and stop signs, what you want to avoid for each and every phase and here’s the thing, if you know where you are but it’s not this phase, it’s still worth listening to because our lives are often in sort of a messy cycle and you will come around to this area eventually. So you want to make sure that you’re using the right strategies at the right time. So it’s worth listening to all four.
Okay? I want to be really transparent about this topic of Triumph IN TRANSIT. Originally I planned on just diving straight in on what it is, right? It’s a place where you are harvesting the fruits of your labor. It’s the place that you’ve worked so incessantly to reach and now you’re there and you can just enjoy what you’ve built and it was going to just dive straight into things to avoid and things to do more of. But what I couldn’t shake was the fact that this very morning I was looking back on my life IN TRANSIT, I had a moment where I missed my life in South Africa.
Here I am in Switzerland, I love my life here; there’s many new things. It’s not that I want to go back or wish I could rewind and change something, but it still means that there is longing for a time that I experienced there. And what was I longing for? I was longing for the Triumph IN TRANSIT right now. I am somewhere between Infinite Possibilities and Fight Mode. We have recreated our family in a new continent. We have put our children into institutions that they’ve never been to, in languages they haven’t spoken academically. I’ve taken on new roles that I haven’t had before and and I’m working on finding a way to get my exercise routine that I really enjoyed back in South Africa here, right?
So, my life is not there anymore. And this morning when I was thinking about Triumph IN TRANSIT that I remember longing for that. I was longing for when my routine was set, when my health was on point, when date night was fixed, time with the kids guaranteed. And that is the point of Triumph IN TRANSIT and being aware of it, often, we have to experience it and realize we were not fully embracing it. Have it watch us pass us by and land in The Crumble until we really appreciate where we are now. This isn’t a way to look back with regret. I should have paid attention to it. I should have celebrated more. It’s actually, as a way to look with inspiration and say, “Hey, you got there once, you can get there again.”
Okay. So today we’re going to look at what you should do if you’ve done the hard work and you are now starting to feel the fruits of your labor. Then how can you stay there as long as possible? Because as my mother always says, well, she quotes it from other more famous materials but, “This too shall pass.”
This is also a phase which I find so fascinating. When my clients are in Triumph IN TRANSIT, they are like, “I have the house. I’ve got the kids, I’m doing the work I want. And now, someday, I don’t know if I want it anymore. I built this life and I don’t know if this is it.” And actually what’s happening is they have done the work, they’ve gone through all the phases, they fought for it, now they have it but the question is, “Did I do something wrong?” But more, “What’s next?” right?
“What’s next?” Oftentimes, I talk to people who have wonderful lives and they feel guilty for not being more joyful about everything they have and of course, they should be practicing gratitude. They should be putting things in perspective. In terms of the privilege that they have used vis a vis someone else. There’s a lot of work that they could do to appreciate they are at.
But often and when they do that work, the question is not, “Did I do the wrong thing or am I not appreciating enough?” But is it hard to hear the question.
“Do I feel guilty about saying, this isn’t enough?”
“Who would ever say that about having house security relationship security, family? No one would say that out loud”
And it can also be true that you have that and appreciate it and are called to do something next. It doesn’t mean you’re going to leave those things. It’s that there’s something new emerging on top of it. So when you’re in Triumph IN TRANSIT, we want to be able to answer the question with affirmative, “Yes!” on is the juice is worth the squeeze when you work so hard in Fight Mode. Now that you have what you have, is this worth holding on to? Or are you ready to transform into something new, right?
So what happens often in this phase that people do is that they get there and then they self-sabotage they say something like, “Well that was just luck.” Or, “This is as good as it gets.” and they’re not really building on what they’ve already done. So we’re going to look really quickly at a few Stop Signs and a few Green Lights If you’re in Triumph IN TRANSIT. And the thing is, what I find very interesting about this phase is people have this idea that when you get to the phase where you have the business, with a revenue that you’re hoping for or your relationship has a depth of connection that you were yearning for. Whatever it is. They think that their life is going to be easier, but I’m sorry to tell you this, the reality is that your life is probably even more complex than it was before. Your life is still IN TRANSIT.
You now are in a thick of soup of new changes and your body’s changing. Your health is changing, your relationships are changing, right? And some of my clients say, “Sundae, it’s like you burst my bubble.” You think, “Once I made it, let’s say in my marriage or as a parent or my business, that it’ll be easier,” but that’s not true. I don’t think it ever gets easier. Being a parent, it just changes. Same with your business. Same thing with your relationships.
So what do we do with that? If that’s true that things don’t get easier. Once you’ve made it because we are breaking up for the idea, this Triumph IN TRANSIT that now, everything is simple. Then what do we do to actually put in some ease?
- And the first thing that you can do is Stop Upper Limiting. So a Stop Sign here is stop telling yourself, “This is as good as it gets.” So maybe you’re saying, “Well, my partner and I don’t fight anymore.” Really all that hard work and your goal is just not to fight? What if you could go even further and create connection, right? So Upper Limiting might be in your business. “Well, it’s okay. I’ve got five clients. But are you happy with that or do you want to have eight clients,” right? Telling yourself, “This is as good as it gets,” is Upper Limiting.
And if you remember from the other phases, Infinite Possibilities is exactly that infinite. You got two more in you, there could be more ease. You could be doing less for more money, right? That’s a thing. Stop Upper Limiting. And I understand how easy that is to do.
- The other thing we need to stop doing is Failing to Recognize Your Success and Achievements. I often watch people say that, “Okay, I’m here and it’s amazing, but it was just luck.” And that is such a shame for all of the relentless hours that you put into your growth, into the courageous questions that you asked, into the things that you learned and maybe things that you invested in or studied. So one thing you can do instead is to pause and to notice what are the steps that took you to get there?
I always say that celebrating is noticing. Really just say, “Hey, honestly, here’s what I did to get there,” and name those things. That will help you get there. And some of you there’s a bonus here around doing that. When you take stock of everything that you did to get there, you automatically put yourself into a better position to mentor others. You can use the hard work that you’ve invested, not only to repeat that for other areas of your life, but to share that with other people, right? So definitely pause and take stock. What have you done as a parent, as a business person, as a professional, for your health, for your sport, whatever it is to get to where you are today?
Maybe I said, “Hey I set my alarm at 5 a.m. everyday,” or like me and I made my disgusting smoothie even though I don’t want to drink it and I did it. So what did it take to do that?
So if we accept the fact that our lives are constantly IN TRANSIT, we have to accept that we won’t stay in Triumph IN TRANSIT forever. That’s the whole point. Triumph means to feel the satisfaction or the pleasure in that phase of transformation. And so the question is, what are some of the mistakes that people make when they’re in this phase? It actually sounds like an amazing phase but like we talked about before, life doesn’t just get easier. You just build better skills to handle what life brings you.
So some of the things I think that we myself included, I’ve done this, I say this is my clients and we all need to be aware of is when we are in this phase of Triumph in transition and we finally are experiencing the things we’d hope for, one of the biggest things I see people do is that they completely forget that they haven’t always been there. And that means they forget to look back and celebrate the thousand steps that it took, the thousand things they did to invest in where they are today. So that’s one thing, I think that people do wrong is that they actually miss out on celebrating. And I don’t mean in a brag sort of way or like self-congratulating. I mean, celebrating is noticing and giving yourself the opportunity to feel that satisfaction, to feel the pleasure, right? Why not feel Triumph IN TRANSIT. We are going to need that joy bomb because what happens probably next is probably The Crumble. So you want to stay in that phase and enjoy that phase as much as possible.
And that’s one thing that you can do is really to, take stock of what it took to get there. What you did. What was your contribution? And of course, maybe you have access to resources that other people don’t have. Or, of course, there might be an element of right timing, fair enough. And you also put yourself in positions where you would try something new where you would learn from a mistake, where you would go forward. So give yourself the credit to take credit where it’s due. You write a note, it and this automatically puts you into another opportunity.
Now, when we’re in Triumph IN TRANSIT, you have figured something out that other people have. It may be people are on your level or ahead of you, fine. But there’s a lot of people that are further down the road in their journey, they are 500 steps back. And on your journey, you’ve learned where the boulders are and where the potholes are to step around. So in that process of taking stock of the steps, it took to get you there and bring you that success, you automatically position yourself to be a mentor for others on their journey. And their journey won’t be exactly like yours but there’s some hard-earned wisdom that you have that others can benefit from.
So if you are in Triumph IN TRANSIT, consider how you might be able to show up as a mentor to others. Maybe it’s as a parent, maybe it’s as a coach, maybe it’s as a professional. Maybe it’s a community leader, right? If you have done the work and you fought the fight and you are there and are now experiencing the fruits of the labor, you can pass that on to others and make a positive impact.
The other thing you can do is when you take note of that, you ask yourself, “Hey, what worked? Let me just do more of that.” What worked? Do more. And that will help you stay there longer, right?
But of course, our lives and our businesses are always IN TRANSIT and we can’t always avoid the changes that are going to happen, and we can’t always predict them. Again, we have internal transformation, external, and performance-led. So while you are in Triumph IN TRANSIT, soak it in. Take a moment today to pause on what you’ve built. Take a moment today to sort of soak in how good it is now compared to when you began this journey.
So it’s important for us to not take it for granted and if you are in this phase of Triumph IN TRANSIT, you can go even further to hold on to this satisfaction and pleasure by checking out my episode 190: Scale of Wholeness where what you’re doing is you’re calibrating and not just goal achievement. But how is it going with the balance of your health? How about your connections? Are they meaningful? Are you getting as much space as you need to think? Do you feel on purpose? So check out the Scale of Wholeness because the good thing that you’ve got now and what you’re harvesting now could be even better if you look at it from this lens of Scale of Wholeness.
Now, if you are absolutely not in this phase, maybe you’re back in The Crumble, I want to give you some hope. It is worth paying attention to Triumph IN TRANSIT and recognize when you have been there in other times of your life. As I mentioned about missing South Africa, missing the routines we had, it gives me sort of energy, hope, comfort, going, “Hey, my life wasn’t always like that. There are things I did to establish that routine to feel that joy, to be able to get that success.” And now I’m implementing those strengths, those strategies, and those solutions that I’ve built in other contexts. So if you’re not feeling the Triumph right now, it is okay because it will come and you’ve been in that space in other areas of your life or other times of your life. And if you can go back and look at how you got there and know that it comes. And even if it goes, other areas of your life will also lend it to give you hope.
Okay. So there you have it, Triumph IN TRANSIT. It is one of the phases of transformation I think we don’t talk enough about, and I think the disservice that we do is that we’re not terracing the work that we’ve done in the way that we could as deeply. And we’re not getting as much pleasure out of it. So why not? Who doesn’t want more pleasure and satisfaction?
The other thing is we’re missing the opportunity to take stock for exactly how much we’ve learned and therefore forget that we could actually be a mentor for others. So, Triumph IN TRANSIT. I hope that if you were there right now, you’re going to apply some of these things to stay there even longer. And if you’re not there right now, I hope that it gives you inspiration on where you have been in that in your life. And that, how are you taking those steps you did then to get you there now in a different flavor, different form? But you got this, it’s coming. Just do the work and look back at the episodes, whether you were in The Crumble, Infinite Possibilities, or Fight Mode. And trust the process.
All right. So back to the topic of mentorship, if you are living a life IN TRANSIT, let’s say you were part of the globally mobile community, and you’ve lived abroad for 14 years and you’ve moved to another country. You’ve got certification to help other people or whatever it is. And you’re feeling pretty okay with things, you’re pretty proud of how you’ve shown up for yourself or for your family and you haven’t yet taken the next step to mentor others. I think you and I should talk, you might be the perfect fit for Global Coach Coalition.
It’s where we take the tools that I use to support people whose lives are IN TRANSIT and teach you those tools as well as support you in growing your own business so you can keep your business triumphant as long as possible. So that you can help other people get to Triumph IN TRANSIT in their own lives. So check out Global Coach Coalition. I’ve been talking about it for a few weeks in the group in are IN TRANSIT Hub. You can also get inspiration by coming to our free challenge, the 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge. Now, listen up, if you’re listening to this and it’s past the date, still jump in our group, the IN TRANSIT Community because you can check out the recordings there or you can be in contact with me. And we’ll help you get what you need.
All right, everyone, I am so happy to celebrate these four areas of transformation with you. I want to just remind you that our lives are always IN TRANSIT. Wherever you are in your life or your business is totally okay. I hope that what you’re taking away from this four-part series is that all you have to do is recognize where you are in that thing that means the most to you right now, and then just avoid those Stop Signs and do more of the Green Lights, and the rest will take care of itself. And if you want to fast-track it or if you want to make sure you’ve got the right support at the right time, let me know. I’ve got Adapt and Succeed and my Coalition by my side to help you.
Thank you for being here today. This is IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. Thank you for listening. I will leave you with the wise words of poet, Jean-Baptiste Paul Kelly. He says: “The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.”
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